Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Gadgets I HAVE to get in 2007

Ok, so I've got rid of my New Year's Eve hangover, and got some dating issues out of my system, and I decided its time to return to the source, and scope out some "essential" gadgets I have to get in 2007.

I've been out of the loop for a while, and like most , the last bit of tech that i use regularly is my ipod.
A bit of surfing reveald some exciting stuff, that will invigorate the ego, but also might melt the bank balance.

- Phillips, I hear are coming out with a 3D TV this year, and that makes me shiver with excitement. It ain't one of those goggle wearing jobbies, but a dual image TV, that creates a 3D effect if you sit in the sweet spot. Top Gun is going to be some viewing experience, for the first time in 48 viewings.

- I need a smaller laptop, ok admitedly, just to be able to say that I've got the smallest one, but also because I've never really found the right medium between a smartphone and a regular laptop. Samsung has launched a foldaway laptop that is super cool, and there are rumours that Apple are going into ultraportables. woohoo!

- Apple are also supposed to be coming out with an iPod phone, which I've alwasy thought would be awesome. With the capacity if a Nano and a GPRS phone to boot, syncs with your itunes and works like a phone. Gimme one of those.

Seems like the boffins have been busy trying to keep the likes of me amused, and it look like Xmas might continue into the new year for us gadget freaks.

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Saturday, December 30, 2006

Get horny with Melody Laine - Classy Comedy or Wet Dream (Or both?)

Ok, so this morning I was taking a peek at YouTube, and a raven haired honey caught my eye in the form of Melody Laine, self proclaimed actress, starlet, promoter, exotic dancer, agony aunt etc.

A showreel reveals all of the above talents present in infinitesimal amounts, yet the performance as a whole is strangely appealing, and I would say borderline genius.

I mean where in this day can you see a shopping chanel selling signed condoms and an agony aunt recommending wearing a bag over your head to satisfy your borfriend, as well as promoting the finer points of spitting VS swallowing.

Upon further inspection this is a well crafted comedy venture under the name of "A herd of Wrens", which sort of confuses the likes of simple minded folk like me.

Can't work out if she's just mental, or if I'm witnessing some quality acting (or both).

Anyway this little minx should have her own TV show 24-7 in my opinion.
Oh, and shes got a fantastic pair of tits. Minky magic, oh yes. I feel true love is on the cards, my fine fellow.

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Friday, December 29, 2006

Why a Slovakian Honey Could be Your Best Lay Yet

I have to apologize for the amount time since my last post. I've been away for ages, but fear not, I'm back, and with itchy fingers to catch up on the goings on in singledom.

My first order of business, is to update you on that first dating experience for some time, mentioned in my last post. It was a while ago, but it is no hardship to reminisce over the spectacular goings on.

Just to recap I met a Slovakian chick in London and after a bit of flirting we organised a date that I was very much looking forward to, as lets face it, she was a stunner, and seemed like a fun, flirty girl to be around.

As predicted, the language barrier was a factor, but not because of our ability to shoot the breeze and have a chat, but just because of different cultural references.
Nevertheless, she seemed to laugh at my jokes, and we were having a good time, with the odd flirty glance and touch. I thought, dating an Eastern European chick is working out to be a bit of a find.

Did the usual, went for drinks, then more drinks, and tore up the dance floor in a nearby club.
So far, so good, I'm thinking.
I also know that crunchtime is approaching, and, as its a first date, I'm not expecting miracles, or much action for that matter. (But I have got the horn something cronic, at this point)

As it happened, I had very little to worry about. As we pulled up at her place in the cab, i was about to stuble through some lame ass goodbye routine, but she got out, and the door was left open.
Don't you love girls like that, no confusing signals to read, for us dumb male folk.

Well without going into too many details, this was as close to a religious sexual experience as I can imagine. Not, least because the honey in front of me was ridiculously pretty, with a body that should never have to suffer being fully clothed, for the good of society.

Still, that was the least of her contributiob to the main event. I'm telling you, honestly, I never knew girls like this existed. And although I'm not a player, by any means this was something else.
I think the sexual dictionay needs updating here, and I'm seriously considering it my duty to report these findings, as she made me do things I didn't think were possible, let alone legal in half the civilised world.
I mean when a girl looks up at you and demands you c** all over her face, who am I to start aguring the finer moral points of the situation. (And thats after she's put you through a masterclass of bedroom gymnastics)

Needless to say, both of us missed work the next day, and I needed around 2 days of rest to recover the power of speech.
Now, the one part I have no idea how to interpret , is how on earth this goddess came to being such a dynamo. Is it demographics, nature, nuture etc etc.
Don't get me wrong, this sexpot, is a lovely and charming girl, and i wouldnt wish to protray her as a sex mad trixie.
Having said that, when I next meet a Slovakian girl, by bachelor radar is going to lock on in a matter of nanoseconds. I've even contemplated organising a boys trip to Bratislava, for a weekend of fun.
Clearly, this is anecdotal evidence at bestm on dating an Eastern European, being based on a sample of 1, but, so far in the Battle of the Nations, when it comes to sex, Slovakia has got Gold, Silver and Bronze.

I can't write anymore on this subject without perspiring profusely, so thats it campers, for this edition.
Stay tuned for the sequel, as the dating run with this one is far from over (I'm currently still praying there is one).